Praying for Experiences to Build Faith

This experience was recorded in my personal journal. I've updated the language to reflect the past tense of the experience.

In September of 2006 I was struggling with many things in my life. Because of the struggles I was having I wanted to have a more solid witness that the gospel was true and that God existed. I began praying for experiences that would help to increase my faith and strengthen my testimony. When I would pray for these things I felt that I should go to the temple. I also thought about my uncle Jim (who committed suicide in Aug of 2006). I decided to go to the temple with some sisters in my ward. We went early one Saturday morning. We dressed and went into the chapel. Usually there is someone playing the organ in there. When we came in there wasn't anyone playing. Shortly after we had sat down, a sister came in with a binder, sat at the organ and began to play. The song she began to play was "Lead Kindly Light", the song my sister and I sang at the funeral of my uncle. The experience of singing this song was a special spiritual witness to me. When I heard the song I began to cry a little bit as I felt the spirit testify to me that God had heard my prayers. I thought about how small of an experience it was and I started yearning for something more. The words of one of my favorite songs came to my mind "...I don't need a wondrous sign to know you are divine..." I realized that no matter how small it seemed, it was still a confirmation of God's existence and his love for me.

The next day when I walked into sacrament meeting the sister at the organ was in the middle of playing a song, she finished and began playing "Lead Kindly Light". Again I felt God letting me know he is there and that he knows of my prayer and my desires. He is listening.

On the way to my mother-in-laws home for family home evening "Lead Kindly Light" was on the radio. I again felt the spirit.

I know God is there. I know he loves me by the tender and caring way he leads me and takes care of me. He knows what I need and he knows the best way to give it to me. He does it in the most loving and gentle way.